The Benefits of Adopting a Paradox Mindset

The power of embracing ‘yes, and’ rather than ‘either/or’ thinking

Our natural human tendency is to categorize things and events as either ‘good’ or ‘bad’. It feels incongruous to entertain two or more conflicting notions at once.

And yet, there is liberation in embracing paradox. In holding space for more than one truth to exist at once.

To me, embracing paradox feels like a more truthful experience of life.

A few examples

Here is a small selection of paradoxal emotional experiences I’ve had of late.

Joy (friends catching up in a distant city) and jealousy (I wasn’t there).

Grief (the end of a relationship), relief (ditto) and pride (I had the courage to leave).

Delight (finding out a dear friend is getting married) and sorrow (knowing my relationship with him will likely change or even fade as a result).

Excitement (seeing family members at Christmas) and resistance (the prospect of the inevitable conflict that will arise).

Paradox: a definition

The dictionary defines paradox as “a logically self-contradictory statement, or a statement that runs contrary to one’s expectation.”

Our human brain naturally resists accepting paradoxes: we seek conclusions that offer certainty or black-and-white clarity. Particularly in circumstances of heightened uncertainty and insecurity, say, for example, a pandemic, we yearn to latch on to what is clear and logical.

Emotions, beliefs, ideas, preconceptions, statements — many aspects of human existence can have paradoxical qualities. And, by developing our capability to hold multiple truths simultaneously, we open up more fully to the nature of our existence.

For truth-seekers, there is power in paradox.

The benefits of embracing paradox

Learning to actively hold space for multiple, seemingly conflicting truths at one time has helped me become a better listener and friend. And, the benefits of embracing paradox go beyond personal relationships.

Psychologists and organizational scientists have found that people who learn to embrace, rather than reject, opposing demands show greater creativity, flexibility and productivity. The dual constraints actually enhance their performance.

In fact, in a 1996 study, Harvard University psychiatrist Albert Rothenberg discovered a commonality among a group of acclaimed Nobel laureates. They had all spent considerable time “actively conceiving multiple opposites or antitheses simultaneously.” The capacity to hold space for paradox creates a mindset ripe for innovation.

How to embrace paradox

One way to begin to embrace the power of paradox is simply to notice paradoxes as they crop up. Rather than scrambling to avoid seemingly contradictory emotions or information, take a moment. Observe and identify the paradox. Ask yourself, “Can I hold space for both of these things at once?”

Perhaps you have what you consider contradictory goals for 2023. Your logical mind assumes you need to sacrifice one for the other. Yet, is there space for ‘and, and’? Spend some time considering how you can pursue them both, simultaneously.

Another way is to meditate. Every day in my meditation practice, I experience the paradox of calm amid the constant swirl of the monkey mind. I consider this a core component of my paradox mindset training.

Rather than seeing potential conflicts as something to avoid, a paradox mindset empowers you to view competing notions or demands as an opportunity for growth and a fuller, truer experience of life.

What paradoxes have you experienced recently? What do you do to develop a paradox mindset?